Kaoru's Barriers
by VashandNaomiForever
Summary: Sequel to Hikaru's Desire, read that first before starting this story please! Kaoru's been effected negatively physically and mentally from their incident at the cabin. He will have to overcome his barriers, as he tries to cope with his disability, his relationships with people, and his overall happiness with life. He's finding it hard to believe anyone will accept him this way.
1. Chapter 1

**Kaoru's Barriers**

Ever since the incident at the cabin, Kaoru had been constantly taken to doctors. His 'mild concussion' turning into more than anyone would have expected. His head had been rattled enough when tossed about the cave walls, that the doctors were talking now of minor brain damage. His days were filled with MRI's and CT scans, leaving little room for anything else. Not that he could complain much, for his speech was becoming hard to manage, stumbling over words that inwardly he knew, but his mouth found it hard to say.

Blood clot, now they were worried about that possibility. He couldn't even voice his fears and worries to his beloved twin, the lack of elaborate speech and the fact that Hikaru almost cried every time Kaoru looked at him, made their relationship sharply different. And he needed his brother so badly too, the fear of going under the knife frightened him badly, the thought bringing forth nightmares to the already traumatized Kaoru.

Hikaru was holding his hand the day his parents said they had made a decision. That he was going to have surgery, that the doctors were hopeful to remove any tissue that may have been damaged.

"Remove tissue? But what if they make him forget things? How can you be sure Kaoru will come back the same?" Hikaru argued on his twins behalf.

"He's already not the same Hikaru, look at him." His mother gestured at her son laying on the hospital bed. "It's the best option we have."

Hikaru kept arguing, but their parents were firm, leaving no room for debate. Before Kaoru was wheeled off to go into surgery, his brother hugged him, whispering in his ear that he loved him, that he'd be there when Kaoru came out. Kaoru wanted to be brave, to put on a determined face for his worried twin, but he couldn't. His tears were flowing as he gave Hikaru a look of complete and utter fear as the nurses wheeled him off.

-0-0-

Kaoru...He had been on Haruhi's mind all day. Hika had called to tell her that Kaoru was headed into surgery, to have his brain jabbed and cut on. God the thought made her sick, imagining what scene was playing out as doctors and nurses tried fixing that poor boys head. She wanted to believe he'd be alright, but the scholar in her knew the facts. That many brain surgeries didn't go well. The human brain was delicate, even with technology today, doctors could still mess up a procedure.

Ranka tried cheering her up, bringing home romantic comedy movies to take her mind off things, to momentarily forget the boy she cared for. They sat together, her leg elevated on Ranka's lap as they watched the movies in silence. He'd rub her foot and ankle from time to time, watching her face more than the television, making sure she was alright emotionally. His daughter was a pro at hiding her feelings, when she should be more open to talking and expressing herself. It pained him to watch her mask, her face neutral as they watched what was suppose to be a funny romance.

"Honey, he's going to be okay." Ranka carefully spoke to her, receiving a raised brow from his daughter.

"Who?" She nonchalantly asked.

"That twin, Kaoru. He's going to be fine, Sweetie." He tried once again with reassurance.

"Lets just watch the movie please." She cooly replied back, turning her attention to the screen, her body tensing up.

"Sorry." Ranka apologized, rubbing her foot thoughtfully as he kept quiet for the rest of the film.

-0-0-

On the first day of school, Hikaru came to class alone, shocking everyone within the class as they bothered him with questions about Kaoru.

"He's resting. He'll return to class as soon as he can." Hikaru tried to put it simply, not wanting to get into why his twin was absent. He was lucky to have Haruhi in the same class, that alone feeling he was dreading without his twin by his side, ebbed a bit with her relieving presence. She'd sometimes glance his way, smiling kindly, other times she'd reach out and give a little squeeze to his hand, making the fan girls howl with joy. It wasn't for the fan girls, Hikaru knew she was perfectly sincere, that people chose to see it the way they wanted to.

During school, both knew they had to play it cool, their relationship somewhat a private matter still. Tamaki was about the only Host Club member to really know the truth, and he wasn't about to blab about Hika and Haruhi's passionate relationship he witness during break. Hikaru was positive that Tamaki still didn't accept the fact that Haruhi was with Hika, but all that wasn't a high priority right now. Hikaru had a lot on his mind, and Tamaki was in the loop on how Kaoru's health was. He'd hopefully not bother the couple with jealous comments, and realize that Hikaru needed compassion and understanding.

At the start of Host Club, Haruhi stayed nearby Hikaru as they catered to pretty girls needs. Serving tea and speaking charmingly to guests while also taking opportunities to glance at one another, sharing smiles. This discreet glancing didn't go unnoticed by all the ladies, some finding it sweet while others found it romantic.

The guests speaking with Hikaru were very polite towards him, possibly knowing he was sensitive about his twins absence, and bringing up topics that didn't involve his other half. As the guests slowly began to leave, the other hosts started gathering together, talking quietly amongst themselves until the final guest had left. Once they were all alone, Honey and Mori started asking about Kaoru's health. Honey doing most the talking while Mori stood by quietly, carefully observing Hikaru's tired, saddened face.

"He hasn't spoken to me. Since coming out of surgery. I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to, or that he can't physically speak. He hasn't spoken to anyone, just nods his head yes or no. They think they fixed his problem, but something happened..." He paused, everyone was listening in now. Haruhi was by his side, her hand reached out to hold his while he collected himself.

Tamaki and Kyoya stood the furthest from Hikaru, watching patiently as the boy regained his composure.

"During surgery, there was a problem. They pinched something inside his brain that caused Koaru to...he holds his left arm like this now." Hikaru showed them, placing his forearm close to his chest, his hand curled and limp looking.

Honey was in tears at seeing Hikaru's description, Mori was bent down, trying to console his blonde friend with a kind embrace. Everyone else was exceptionally silent, watching as Honey cried into Mori's strong, supportive shoulder.

"What about rehabilitation, or physical therapy?" Kyoya piped in, "Surly something can be done to improve his motor skills."

"We'll see. Kaoru's just so unresponsive. It's like, he's locked himself up inside his own world. A world without me in it..." Here Hikaru excused himself, leaving the music room to find some quiet place to let out his overwhelming emotions.

"Hika!" Haruhi went to follow, but was stopped by Tamaki.

"Senpai?!" She furrowed her brow and grumpily looked at him.

"Hikaru needs to calm himself, Haruhi. Let him be for a moment." Tamaki tried telling her.

"What he needs, is someone to listen and be there to support him!" She argued back, jerking from his hold and leaving the music room.

"Poor Kaoru!" Honey cried, hugging onto Mori as they looked out the door Haruhi had run out.

"Kaoru's going to need us, when he returns. I expect every one of you to treat him well and not point out his obvious disability. From the sound of it, he has a lot of healing to do." Kyoya spoke to everyone, eyeing Tamaki more than the others.

"Did you really think she'd let him go off on his own?" Kyoya lightly scoffed at Tamaki.

"Daddy's little girl is very rebellious!" Tamaki crossed his arms and began to pout, not looking at the face Kyoya was giving him.

"Keep telling yourself that." Kyoya sighed sarcastically. When would Tamaki realize his true reason for being overprotective over Haruhi?

-0-0-

Disclaimer: Ouran Highschool Host Club doesn't belong to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kaoru's Barriers**

The Hitachiin twins were known for doing everything and anything together. They played games with people to try and see if anyone could pick them apart from one another, other than the maid from long ago, Haruhi had been the only other one to accomplish such a feet.

The twins relationship was drastically changing. As things currently stood, anyone could tell the difference between Kaoru and Hikaru. Kaoru's surgery had seen to that, to start with his head had been shaved so that the doctors could cut his skull open. He now had a scar on his noggin from them poking around inside, their procedure had taken many hours but they'd gotten the damaged tissue. They had also, most unfortunately so, pinched a nerve of some type while operating that he now held one arm funnily. His brain could no longer communicate to the appendage to tell it to move, irritating and frustrating the twin.

What was even worse for Kaoru, was the lack of speech. Inside his head, he had all these thoughts and words wanting to break through to the surface, but for one reason or another, his brain wasn't signaling the way it should to allow him to converse normally. He felt like a zombie form of himself, grunting or nodding his head to answer people.

Hikaru tried treating him normally, telling him how school went everyday, even though parts of Kaoru could care less, the twin tried to act like he was listening. Hikaru would sometimes look at him so very longingly, undoubtedly missing their talks, missing the sound of Kaoru's voice...It was at these moments that Kaoru would close his eyes and pretend to fall asleep, hating how hurt and sad his twins eyes were.

His parents had tried encouraging him to try forms of physical therapy. Going to a normal therapy office and working with people on machines to try and gain back his arms mobility. He went a few times, his fingers slowly awakening from their death like slumber, but Kaoru just wasn't into it. The scene around him, all the other people that were trying to gain back mobility just like himself, bothered Kaoru. Seeing so many individuals with disabling symptoms put him in a grim, dark mood until finally he just refused to go back at all.

Realizing that half his problems were mental, his parents thought that maybe he'd do well with programs that gave him social interaction as well as mentally soothing him. He had been taken to a cat sanctuary, where people of all varieties came to pet the cats and interact with one another. Kaoru hadn't minded, his strong right arm stroking his selected cat as 'helpers' stopped by to sit and chit chat with him, not minding that he didn't speak back.

Then there had been the dolphin encounter...Kaoru had never liked those water dwelling mammals, their black eyes beady and not remotely cute in his opinion. But they had him in a pool, petting one anyway. The thing was weird feeling, and it's quick movements worried Kaoru as it swam about cheerfully. The encounter did little for him, even with Hikaru tagging along and trying to show Kaoru how fun 'dolphins' could be.

At the end of the day, inwardly Kaoru decided he had had enough of these useless outings. They hadn't helped him recover his speech back, so what good had they truly been for him? When he refused to go to more therapy, his mother decided it was time for Kaoru to try and go back to school, hoping the routine and socialization would do her son some good.

-0-0-

The day Kaoru came back to Ouran, everyone was very quiet and subdued by his physical appearance. The shaved head, along with the way his arm was positioned brought forth silent confusion and worry from classmates. Hikaru had never mentioned the reason behind Kaoru's absence, only to the Host Club members, and the arrival of Kaoru was an adjustment for the unprepared first year class.

Kaoru, for the most part ignored the stares and awkward waves, focusing only on the work teachers dished out. Despite his verbal hardship, Kaoru was still able to write well enough to answer questions on papers. Hikaru tried sending Kaoru notes, hoping for a lengthy written response from his brother. Kaoru would answer simple, or sometimes just ignore the note all together, hurting Hikaru's feelings a little.

The twin just wasn't in the mood to write a long paragraph about how he truly was feeling. How he felt like a prisoner inside his own body, between being unable to verbally express himself, to the physical disability of having no real movement in his left arm. He was unhappy, and didn't know if he'd ever be happy again. He felt the stares upon him, his scar still visible upon his shaved head. So much for being a handsome host, maybe Tamaki would come up with a Frankenstein angle, beastly on the outside, warm and sensitive on the inside. Hell, even on the inside he felt ugly, holding inside him resentment and anger over his situation.

Haruhi was the one person Kaoru saw as genuinely kind to him because she cared for him as a person, not just because of his new disability. She never looked upon him with fear or unease, but she also wasn't pitying him with her touch and smiles. For her, Kaoru would write more than just a one word answer, feeling inclined to do so because she was herself with him. She didn't baby talk him, or try to be extra careful about how she spoke, she was just Haruhi. He was grateful for her normal behavior, and hoped others would start to follow her example.

-0-0-

The third year students, Honey and Mori, along with their younger leader Tamaki, had created a welcome back celebration for their friend Kaoru. Sweets adorned tables along with tea cups in various patterns, there were white lily flowers surrounding the music room, with banners and streamers decoratively placed about the entire room. Up beat classical music was playing in the background as Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru entered the room.

Kaoru was surprised and somewhat uneasy over all the attention, trying hard to remain among their smiling faces as Honey tried showing Kaoru around all the tables. The blonde third year was telling Kaoru about the different sweets, commenting on how tasty they all looked. Kaoru quietly followed, the food not interesting him, but he was trying to be polite.

After Honey was done ogling over the many sweet treats, Kaoru was confronted by a group of girls.

"We're so glad you're back Kaoru, we all really missed you, especially your brother!" One girl commented.

"Hikaru was in good hands though, sweet Haruhi kept him company while you were away. They've gotten so close!" Another girl made mention, getting an elbow jab from her two friends.

"What she means to say is, that Haruhi kept Hikaru company. That's all." A different lass tried smoothing things over.

"Have you seen the way those two look at each other?! It outshines brotherly love even!" The rude girl spoke, the two others started dragging her away, embarrassed.

'Haruhi...At the cabin, I had an even chance at winning your feelings, or at least sharing you with Hika. Now there's no way she'll ever see me in that light, not like..._this_.' He silently dwelled on his feelings for the female host. Hikaru wasn't the only one in love with her, but now with his current state, there wasn't a snowball's chance in Hell that she'd love him back.

"Kaoru?" There she was, her gentle voice calling towards him. The different twin turned around to stare at her wishfully.

"I was wondering, how have your physical therapy outings gone?" Kaoru groaned and shook his head no. Had he a piece of paper, the twin might have elaborated, he didn't mind writing his thoughts down for her to read.

"Well, how about this. Next time you go on an outing, I'll come and keep you company. That is, if you'd want me there." She was blushing a bit, waiting on his response. Seeing as he doubted there'd be any more outings, Kaoru agreed, thinking there would be no harm in the theoretical company. Haruhi smiled happily and said she looked forward to it, before leaving him to go speak with guests.

-0-0-

Disclaimer: Ouran Highschool Host Club doesn't belong to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kaoru's Barriers**

Hikaru was very relieved to have Haruhi beside him, helping with Kaoru's return to Ouran. She was gentle and kind towards Kaoru, getting him to actually respond to questions through written notes. Sure, he was a little jealous, that his twin responded more to Haruhi than himself, but he let it go. Kaoru needed patience and compassion, there wasn't going to be any room for petty emotions like jealousy.

Hikaru had listened in to Haruhi offering to accompany Kaoru on his next physical therapy outing. Hikaru had tried participating with Kaoru during the dolphin experience, and his twin hadn't seemed overly happy to have him along. Then again, nothing lately brought a smile to Kaoru's face. Maybe Haruhi could really break through Kaoru's wall and get his brother back to the way he use to be.

After school, two separate limos came to pick the twins up, one to take Kaoru into a routine check up, while the other would take Hikaru home. He had asked Haruhi to tag along, needing the company since his twin had become so distant. The couple rode in silence, holding each others hand as they quietly thought about their day. Kaoru was not the same person any more, Haruhi had an easier time accepting him as he was. While Hikaru still clung to the memory of how he had once been, holding onto the memory so tightly that it was difficult for Hikaru to acknowledge Kaoru's different personality.

The mansion was empty, his parents busy with work still, giving the couple opportunity to relax and openly show affection. Haruhi was draped over Hika's body as they lounged on a long plush couch in front of a enormous television. Watching an old black and white film involving mobsters and detectives. The screen was on for mostly background noise, their attention paid more to one another's embrace as the silly old film played on.

Hikaru was gently stroking Haruhi's short locks when she asked him how things had been going around his home life, if his parents had stopped arguing as much.

"They've cooled down a bit. I don't know if that's a good sign or bad, but at least Kaoru and I don't have to listen to it for now. Did you know that he's been sleeping in his own separate bedroom since the accident? Even when he was through with surgery, Kaoru wouldn't...he wouldn't." Hikaru paused, his body going stiff as Haruhi turned to look at him. His face was filled with hurt, eyes glassy as he tried not to cry.

"Hika..." Haruhi sighed, cupping his cheek with one hand.

"He won't sleep with me. Every time I even start to ask, he walks away from me, Haruhi! He just walks away..." Here he let out his tears, pulling his girl in close as he wept into her hair.

Haruhi held him back, rubbing his shoulders as she tried to think of something reassuring to say. Kaoru had gone through a lot, it was going to take time for him to cope with the way things currently were. It seemed that sleeping in the same bed as his twin was one of those things that just was going to take patience and time.

"I'll talk to him, next time he goes to physical therapy, when I'm with him I'll try to see what's going on inside his head." She promised her boyfriend, kissing his forehead sweetly.

"Haruhi...he's refused to go anymore. I don't know how you'll be able to talk to him." Hika sighed, but Haruhi kept a determined look on her face.

"Did your parents agree with his decision?" She curiously asked.

"Well no, but how can you force him to go when he doesn't want to?" He asked her.

"Let me do some research, maybe I can find something that will change his mind, catch his interest." She was serious, her promise to help with Kaoru making Hika's sad heart lighten.

"If anyone can do it, it'd be you Haruhi." Hika smiled at her warmly, bending down to kiss her soft lips. With Haruhi's help, they could figure out Kaoru's true feelings and maybe get him back to the way he once was.

-0-0-

Haruhi was an avid movie watcher, (when she wasn't studying), secretly enjoying movies that started out tragic but ended happily. Her physical therapy idea for Kaoru to try, came from watching a movie she had seen when she was a fair bit younger. It had been about a young girl and her horse, they had an accident together injuring both of them, physically and mentally traumatizing the pair. Long story short, the girl was able to work through her physical and mental disabilities by using horseback riding as a form of therapy.

Now, movies weren't always an accurate source of information, so Haruhi went online and researched real life facilities in Japan that catered to persons with disabilities. What she found intrigued her, the practice of using horses as a way of therapy was fairly new to their country, but studies showed that it was actually quite beneficial.

There were three main aspects in riding for people with disabilities; "Hippo-Therapy" which helped participants recover physical functions. "Therapy-riding" which brought physical, educational, and mental through learning riding skills as well as taking actual care for the horses at the facility. The final aspect was "Recreational Riding" which was the act of riding for the simple pleasure of it. All in all, the idea sounded inviting and intriguing.

Haruhi had the twins mothers contact information, and decided to send her a quick email about possibly setting Kaoru up for a day at the facility. Adding that she would willingly come along and make sure the stubborn boy actually tried participating. It was worth a shot at this point, attempting therapy was better than abandoning it completely. Hopefully between his mother and herself, Kaoru could be convinced to travel down the right path towards a slow but steady recovery.

-0-0-

Disclaimer: Ouran Highschool Host Club doesn't belong to me.

A/N: My work schedule has been super busy! I will try to keep updating often, but I'm so gosh darn tired after work! :( Anyway, I hope you all like where this is going! As for the movie Haruhi had seen, can anyone guess which one I'm referencing?


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